Friendship and Community

JEN’S MESSAGE

When I planned which categories to highlight on this website, Friendship and Community was not on my original list. It seemed too broad – it can encompass just about every relationship we have in our lives. Yet when I review the messages from the Keepers, this topic is the one that has been brought by the Keepers most often over the years.

By far the most frequently asked questions in personal consultations involve relationships with others. The way we cultivate personal relationships has the most impact on overall happiness. The Keepers would say the reason personal relationships are so important is that the core wound that all humans share is to be isolated from one another. All other wounds and traumas pale in comparison to the deeply dissonant fact that we see ourselves as separate from others during our human lifetimes. Early in life, most infants and small children experience this isolation being compounded by parenting practices that encourage early independence, or lack of thoughtful parenting – both of which create profound wounds within a small person who does not yet know how to see himself as separate from those who love him.

Although every life and every relationship is complex, the general equation is simple: Anything that highlights or intensifies our sense of separation from others will disrupt our happiness and well-being -- and anything that supports a sense of connection and closeness with others will support our healing, happiness, and well-being. The tricky part is figuring out how to foster that sense of closeness in the face of our own fears, and the fears of those around us. Luckily the Keepers offer a wealth of guidance!