From the Akashic Records of Romantic Love
What is the best way to bring more loving and romantic relationships into our lives?
The key to attracting loving relationships of all kinds, both romantic and nonromantic, is to deeply embrace the fact that human beings are born with a much higher capacity to give Love than they have to receive Love. In fact, Every baby is born has a capacity for giving Love that is about ten times greater than their capacity for receiving Love. That capacity for Love is equivalent also to the need for Love. Babies, children, and adults who are emotionally healthy have a much stronger need to love others than they have a need to be loved by others.
Every person needs to be loved as well as to love, but the wonderful thing about human beings is that you are built to give more than you take. This ensures that there will be more than enough to go around. Unfortunately, because people have been hurt and they often close their hearts in order to protect themselves, it can sometimes feel like there is not enough Love to go around. But, the truth is, every person is built to be a generator of Love. You have so much more Love to give than any of you are giving. And, your need to give that Love will fulfill you so much more than trying to get more Love.
Human beings are built to be attracted to Love. It is the one thing that every single person wants. The way to get more Love is to give more Love. There is nothing more attractive to someone than a person who is generating Love. If you could look at your energy fields, you would see that the human energy field is fluid. The energy in your field is like a river or an ocean -- it is always in motion. It is like water, it is always in motion. Your life force energy does not sit still. There is always a flow and therefore a direction. At any moment, your energy is moving outward or inward. When you give Love, your energy moves outward. When you are receiving Love, it moves inward.
At any given moment, you are generating Love and putting it out into the world, or you are seeking Love and pulling energy inward. It is rarely both. When you are in need, your energy field sucks energy in from the world around you. People can sense this flow, and they tend to avoid someone who is pulling energy inward. Most people are attracted to those who are shining energy outward, and this happens when you are giving Love.
Of course, just like with ocean tides, in order to stay in balance your energy moves in both directions at different times. You must give and take. You have to ask for things and need things and receive and you also need to give Love and generate Love. To be a healthy human being, and to be the very best you can be as a human, you would spend about ten times more energy giving Love than you would spend receiving Love. That would be the perfect balance for a healthy human being.
Unfortunately, many of you get caught into a pattern of chronic need. Because very few children grow up with all of their needs being perfectly fulfilled, most of you have a deficit as far as needing to feel Loved by others. Being in a constant state of need becomes a self-fulfilling problem. If you walk into a relationship with need, with your flow moving inward, people shy away because every other person out there is longing to be loved as well. Few people are going to want to give their Love to you if you are just sucking it up without sharing more Love than you are taking.
On the other hand, if you are giving Love you become very attractive. Instead of thinking about your own need and your own wishes and your own fears, if you walk into a room and you look for someone to Love and you share as much Love as you can, you become the person who is most loved by others. It is a paradox, that if you are most willing to give Love then you become filled with the most Love. Looking for people to Love, sharing as much Love as you can, and holding an ongoing attitude of forgiveness and grace makes you very attractive.
It is not meant to be that you give away your time and energy or that you allow yourself to be drained in order to offer Love. The Love we suggest you offer is held in your heart, so that even if you refuse a request or step away from someone’s need, you can do it with Love in your heart. Your need to love others is based in the attitude of forgiveness that you offer as you witness and support those around you. It is not meant to be that you make yourself a martyr in order to give Love.
In regard to romantic relationships and attracting a romantic mate, then we can say it does not matter what people you choose to offer Love. If you are sharing Love with anyone, it makes you more attractive to potential romantic mates. If you are looking for a romantic partner, do not limit your affection and attention to potential mates. If you do, you hold the wish that people will love you and that creates the inward flow of energy that is unattractive. Instead, walk into the room and hold Love in your heart for every person regardless of whether you have romantic interest or not. Think of how you can make someone’s day happier. Smile. Shine your light without the need for that someone to like you in return. This attitude of Love makes you like a light bulb glowing with energy. Everyone in the room will feel drawn to you, and this includes the people who may be romantic mates.
Once you establish a habit of Love, you will have the problem of abundance. Too many people will want to be your friend, your neighbor, or your mate. You will need to learn to say "No" in order to preserve your own time and energy, rather than the problem of scarcity. Cultivate a lifestyle in which you spend time each day thinking of how you can share Love with an elderly neighbor, your best friend's child, your parents, your co-workers – even with the birds that fly past your window. Every time you think about how much you Love someone or something, every time you do something generous and kind, every time you open your heart and really enjoy someone, you become a glow light. Your energy field is moving outward and you become very attractive. That is the best way to bring both more Love into your life and more romantic partners. It is also the best way to establish the healthiest balance as far as your energy field to generate far more Love than you receive.
Is there really someone for all of us in the romantic sense? Are some people destined to be alone without a romantic partner?
There are some people who are destined to be without a romantic partner, but no one in this world is destined to be alone. Human beings are tribal. You are pack animals. You are built to socialize and to be close to one another. With that being said, as far as romance and mating, it really depends on who you are and what your contract is for your lifetime. There are many different ways a human contract can be set up in regard to romance. Some people have a contract to have a single lifelong mate, while others are destined to ignore romance all together. Most people have a contract to have several romantic relationships over the course of one life.
How you fulfill those contracts is up to you. It is always possible to change the original contract for your life, but it always involves more work to do so. Some who are destined to be single decide to partner anyway. This can go well, but the relationship is likely to require more compromise and communication in order to stay intact. On the flip side, some people who are destined to be in a partnership decide to be single anyway. That person might lose a partner and find their heart is so broken that they never open up again, so the other possible partnerships slip away. There are countless different ways you can navigate your contract. The romanticized ideal that says there is a soul mate for everyone is too simplistic. It is not the way that human beings work and it does not make room for enough Love for most of you. Most of you will need many deeply loving relationships, some romantic and some not, in order to truly expand your capacity for Love in your lifetime. Because each of you has free will and endless possibilities for how you might set up your lives, there are endless different kinds of contracts that different people have formed for their lifetimes in regard to romance.
The first key to finding romantic happiness to make sure that you are cultivating loving relationships of all kinds in your life, so that regardless of whether you have a romantic mate or not, your life will be filled with Love and you will not be alone. That is the number one thing to do. The second key is to be as honest as you can with yourself about what is happening in your romantic life. If you are with someone just out of habit or because society says you need to be with someone, you might reconsider. You might consider being single rather than partnered.
If you are single and you feel alone because you do not have a romantic partner, you might need to consider the idea that you will need to stop waiting for a certain kind of Love, and to participate more actively in the Love that is available in your life. Open your capacity to give Love in non-romantic settings and you will expand the space where you can love and be loved romantically, as well. This will bring you more Love in a more truthful way instead of living in a fantasy or waiting for something that does not exist in the present moment. It opens the way for you to be fulfilled and joyful in your present moment regardless of what is happening.
It is very important first that you generate Love, no matter what. Try to step away from the ways you have been socialized to think about romance. You do not need to do it the way that society does it. You do not need to do it the way that your friends and neighbors do it. Make sure that you stay true to yourself and your personal needs, rather than follow the script of the romantic storyline that so many of you have been taught. To be at peace with either solitude or partnership, you must be honest with yourself about your true motivations and remove the habit of being in need. Consider what you can give rather than what you wish you could get, and the Love will flow more easily whether it is romantic or not.